It’s commonplace that mothers multitask, but as a single parent, multitasking is the bedrock of our existence. We take multitasking to a whole new level, but I’ve come to discover that if I do not discover where my focus lies and channel my energy and resources in that direction, my life and my children’s lives will be in jeopardy. Because your vision or your focus, determines the direction you‘re headed.
Genesis 29 verse 31 says, “But because Jacob was slighting Leah, Jehovah let her have a child.”
God gave her babies as a reward/blessing because of what she was going through, but Leah had babies for the wrong reasons just like some of us are doing. This is shown by the names she gave the children:
- Reuben meaning “God has noticed my trouble”. Reason – my husband will love me now
- Simeon meaning “Jehovah heard that I was unloved”. Reason– my husband will love me now
- Levi meaning “Attachment”. Reason– Surely my husband will show me some affection now that I’ve given him 3 boys.
Leah soon discovered that having children; boys in this case, didn’t increase her husband’s love/affection for her. His mind was far away from her. She made the wisest decision that every woman should make.
She decided not to use children as bait to gain her spouse’s affection. She decided to change her focus, from craving her spouse’s love/affection to craving God’s love. Then she had the fourth child and named him
- Judah meaning “Praise”. She said now, I will praise the Lord and she stopped having children.
We know Judah is the most significant tribe in Israel because Jesus the Savior of the world, came from that tribe.
Some of us are like Leah. Changing hairstyles every day, having more babies, purchasing more sexy clothes, seeking out and preparing more sophisticated menus, purchasing more gifts for him, using more makeup and doing everything we can just to make the man love you and stay.
But like Leah, you will if you haven’t by now, discover that you can’t keep a man whose heart has already left you. I had a friend who tried all the above, but her husband still left at the end. She lost everything: marriage, health, house, career, had the children, but no finances to take care of them. It took 10 years to put the pieces of her life back again.
Take a cue from Leah; change your focus from craving men’s love and crave for God’s love which is unfailing and then love yourself. You will see circumstances changing in your favor. If you love God, He will in turn make your spouse love you or give you the grace to live a fulfilled life as a single person. It’s only God that can fill the vacuum in your heart, not man or things.
So change your focus today from man.